07.01.21: I had a little crisis a while ago, well, I wouldn't call it a crisis as such, but I've been a bit sad because most of the people I met ended up being very bad people to me, I've thought about it a lot, and it bothers me and saddens me to attract people like that, I don't believe in the law of attraction, but it seems silly to me how I can't meet an emotionally stable person.
Anyway, out of this crisis I've been fine, maybe I've been feeling a bit ugly, but it's only been for a few hours, although no one has told me I'm pretty enough to lift my spirits, it just went away. now that I think about it, I should stop uploading so many pictures on instagram looking for someone to tell me I'm pretty....
13.01.21: I started the day happy, but then I got very depressed, I started to feel bad, not about myself, but I felt betrayed, I thought too much about things, I guess that's anxiety, and I came to a lot of conclusions, I want to talk about them and resolve them to feel calmer and understand the situation.
1. crua-chan, you have very positive things, not everything is negative in your personality. you are an artistic, intelligent, beautiful, dedicated, loving and passionate person.
2. you can't conform to everything that people like, you can't be liked by everyone just as you don't like everyone.
3. If someone doesn't want you in their life, don't insist, even if it hurts and it's hard to let go of a friendship or a relationship, you should respect the other person's space.
Relationships come and go, you will have to meet new people at some point, and people will leave at some point, even if you don't want them to.
4. crua-chan, stop comparing yourself to other girls! yes, maybe guys have left you or cheated on you for another girl or guy, but that's their problem, not yours, that they didn't know how to value you.
obviously after so many failed love affairs your self-esteem and confidence for men was shot, but hey, for some reason they must have done it, and if the reason was that you didn't fill their voids, then he/she should stay out of your life and get a psychologist (ha!); people like that are not worth it. i know you would never cheat on anyone or lie to them, you are very true to your morals and to yourself in that sense
5. it's no use comparing yourself to other girls.
is the worst of your personality. but I want you to know that it is useless, you hurt yourself and the rest. you probably think that the girls your boyfriends know are prettier, more interesting, with better tastes and more charismatic than you, so you feel so small and insignificant next to them because you don't feel enough to be able to Pleasing your partners, you want to please the ones you love, but you don't think it's enough, so you try to push them away to wish them well. You also do not understand why they are with you, why they prefer you over the rest and why they remain by your side because inside your head you cannot understand why they would invest time and love in you.
if you are suspicious, talk about it with your partner, but it is not worth distrusting so much and looking for so many affirmations in obvious things that have already been said, just think about it, keep it in your head, and try to understand it.
6. fear is inevitable, we are going to live with fear, live with it, live with it and there is nothing we can do but cope with it, learn to live with it and not let it take over our lives.